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In Memory of 09-11-01
Lest We Forget
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Money: Welcome To The No Whining Zone!
I never dodge discussing the subject of money with my
clients. Unfortunately, many prospective clients cannot say the same. They would
rather engage in wishful thinking than have an open and honest discussion about
money. It's as if they believe a lightning bolt would come down from heaven and
strike them dead if they talked about money. When you have a legal problem the
one thing that you have to be is honest about is money.
Many people believe that someone else
should pick up the tab for their problem. When I ask them "why is that?" The usual answer
that I get is "because it isn't fair." No it
isn't fair, after all wasn't it you that
went out and got drunk, drove your car, and got busted. Or maybe you went out
and had unprotected sex with a girl you hardly knew and now your a dad. Or you
didn't pay your landlord the rent, because you blew it on the date with the girl
that you got pregnant and the bail bondsman, and now he wants to kick you out.
None of that is fair, but it happened and you have to deal with it.
Let's
be honest for a moment. Do you really think that someone else should pay for
your problem? I don' t think so. Your
doctor doesn't pay for your medicine. Your grocer doesn't pay for your food and
your landlord doesn't give you free rent. So what in the wide, wide world of
sports makes some people think that lawyers are willing to finance your legal
matters. It's patently absurd, but
very understandable. They don't take responsibility for our own actions anymore;
it's
always somebody else's fault and not theirs. So why should they pay for their
mistakes? Makes sense to me. Doesn't it to you?
For many folks the only thing they know about
lawyers, is what they think they learned from listening to lawyer jokes or
horror stories that they have heard; not to mention the pitches on television
by personal injury lawyers, telling you that they got some poor fellow 2.5
Million Dollars for his injuries. These ads always pitch the fact that the
poor fellow never had to pay a cent up front. In my opinion, these ads
imply that the services were free and that's simply not true.
What the ad
doesn't say is that it wasn't for free. Our hapless "victim" paid
his lawyer 30%, 40% or more of the proceeds of the recovery to represent him.
Not to mention the fact that it may have taken the attorney as long as one to
three years to complete the case and let's not forget that the victim was
"injured." There probably were doctor's liens that had to be paid. None of this
was for free. Yet if you listen to these ads, you might think that all
lawyers work on contingency for just about any case. Wrong. It doesn't work that
way.
Most cases require
you to pay for your own case. There are some exceptions, like personal injury
cases. But for the majority of cases, it is up to you to finance your case. In
fact, there is a rule against attorneys taking family law cases on contingency to
protect you. Could you imagine what it would be like if lawyers could solicit
unhappy people to divorce their spouse on a contingency fee basis. It would be
thermonuclear war. Cats living with dogs, dead bodies in the street, chaos would
rule supreme. Believe me, you really wouldn't want it that way.
So let's have a reality check. You were arrested for
DUI and have to be in court in a month. Hell, that's a long time from now, I'll
worry about it later or maybe I'll get one of those free lawyers. Now what are
they called? Oh yeah, public defenders. Or maybe you won the baby lottery and
now she wants you to pay child support. Who are you going to listen to? That
voice in your head that says
"She's a slut and sleeps with just about everyone. So how do I know
that the kid is even mine?
Good question Sparky, what are you going to do about it? And what if that kid
isn't your?
Most will do
nothing, being content to stick their heads in the sand and just await their
court date. I know what you are thinking, I'll get a public defender to help me
- the free lawyer. Not so fast Sparky, what if you have a job? Well,
if you have a job, you are going to have to pay the County back for their
services. While the costs are calculated on an ability to pay basis, "it
isn't for free." In fact if you make enough money, you won't qualify for a public
defender at all. Then you have the choice of defending yourself or hiring private
counsel to defend you. You should also be aware that you don't get a
public defender in civil cases. Most child support cases are civil. Screwed
again.
Since you don't
want to pay for a lawyer, when you get to court you will probably plead
out to DUI or being the father just to get the whole thing behind you. The fear
of what doing the right thing will cost you is greater than the fear of what
they may do to you. So you agree to anything, turn and leave thinking to
yourself, "Good luck sucker, you'll never get a dime out of me."
Or maybe you'll think, "Yeah, I'll have to go to that DUI
class, maybe I'll look into that maybe next week." What you won't do
is take responsibility for what you did and get real help. You'll stick
your head in the ground like an Ostrich.
Oh, you will feel pretty smug for awhile, thinking to your
self, the D.A. will never really send me a summons to go to Court
for Child Support or for the DUI school. Yet when the letter or the cops
show up at your front door, you won't believe it. You will look
surprised and think to yourself, "look
at this, how dare she do this to me. What a bitch.
What you should say is Why
was I so stupid to let it come to this? Want to know the
answer? Because you are irresponsible, cheap and stupid.
You knew for
months that this was coming and you did nothing. You know that you should have saved your money and hired
a lawyer to help you handle it, but no, that is too rational. The next
thought that runs through your mind is "Well I guess I had better
see if I can find a "cheap" lawyer to help me. Another bad idea Sparky. Still haven't learned anything yet,
have you? Don't compound your mistake. If you have a serious problem, handle it
the right way. Get a competent lawyer that knows what they are doing to help
you. Sure it is going to cost you, but in the long run it is an investment in
your future. Nothing in life that is worthwhile is cheap or easy. You have to
work for things that have meaning.
Still haven't
convinced you, well lets do some math. Using the example of child support. If
you have one child and the court orders you to pay $600.00 per month until they
turn 18, do you have any idea how much money that is? That's $600.00 a month times
twelve months or $7,200.00 per year. If you multiply that by 18 years you get a
whopping total of $129,600.00 dollars. This doesn't include any interest should you fall
behind on your support payments or the cost of medical insurance or any
uncovered medical and dental costs. God forbid if the child has some special
health needs, special schooling, braces, or etc. etc.
The only way that
not hiring a lawyer makes sense is if you never intend to pay anything in the
first place. Let me disabuse you of that thought. Living the rest of your life
in an underground economy makes no sense. Not having a bank account or credit
card. Not being able to buy a house, new car or own anything in your own name.
If you get a good job, the county shows up with a wage assignment that
leaves you with almost nothing to live on. So you quit and bounce from job to
job. You blame everyone but the one person who is really to blame: yourself.
It's no way to live. Not to mention going to jail year after year, dealing
with tax intercepts of refunds, and the interest, oh the interest. The interest
will kill you. I have seen cases where small awards ($100.00 or less a month)
from the 70's or 80's that went unpaid, end up accruing interest amounting to
tens of thousands of dollars by today's standards. Regarding criminal
cases, I think that I would spend my last dollar to avoid going to jail. Do I
need say anything else?
I don't think so.
Want to know something
interesting? Men and women handle these types of things differently. Let me give
you an example of what I have observed: Most women makes her children the
most important thing in her life. She will sell everything that she owns, sell
her soul to the devil, borrow money and just about doing anything short of
murder to get the money she needs to fund her case. She does this because her
babies are the most important thing in her life. They come first.
She also
understands that she needs her attorney to protect her. In order to obtain this
service, the attorney's bill gets paid first before anything else. By doing that she has
peace of mind. I believe that if I asked one of my women clients to stand on her head in a room
that was half full of excrement and drink coffee. She would do it without
question, if she believed it would help protect her kids. That is the type of
dedication that most women have for their children. On the other
hand, most men are not like this. All you would get out of them is a lot of
whining, excuses and complaints.
And most young men are great at making excuses in stead of taking care of
business. Usually they are not the ones to call, either their girlfriends, wives
or mothers call for them. If they call and make an appointment, they will
usually call back several times to
cancel because emergencies came up. Like car maintenance, beer with the boys, a
new girl that he is interested in, he may have ran out of gas, or he sees a bush that he feels like
smelling today. He will use "any" excuse to avoid coming in. He would probably
have an elective root canal if it would mean that he didn't have to deal with
the situation. Avoidance, procrastination and excuses are most men's stock and
trade. This attitude will only make the situation worse.
For the most part,
he may or may not pay his bill because he really doesn't look at his children
the same way as a woman does. Most young men put the pleasure things first and
the important things second. It's a difference in attitude. Men are real gung ho
to try and get the support lowered, yet for the most part, do not have the
dedication that is necessary. When they discover that if they have custody
or a lot of visitation, their child support will be lower, then they may become
interested. Although when most men get additional visitation time, they usually
don't exercise the visitation. If they gain custody, they suddenly want to
either move in with their girlfriend or marry her so that they will take care of
his kids. They just don't have what it takes to be responsible parents. That is not to say that none of them have it.
Those that do tend to be older and more mature. They are men and not boys,
and "real men take care of their responsibilities." For the
boys, I recommend condoms or vasectomies, they are cheaper than child support.
Masturbation is another alternative that they should seriously consider.
The bottom line is
if you are serious about getting help, then you do what it takes to get the job
done. No excuses and no whining. Nor do you get something for free or
expect someone else to pay for it. Is that clear enough? I hope so.
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